Its not often these days that I get to join a congregation of friends for a hearty conversation. Ok truth be told, its normally absolutely therapeutic. The topics are generally.. husband bashing(sometimes, only sometimes glorifying also;)), about how disobedient our kids have turned out to be and how accommodative of those mistakes we have become, weight loss ways(most depressing topic because you are left feeling very FAT), cookery with all the details exchanged as though we were making that immediately for the next meal session, movies, children’s school activity, which restaurant was visited recently (I am normally blur here…!), how to clean the glass pane in a new way, which detergent powder is best and economical or why the temple is crowded on Friday mornings. While sometimes I find these topics mundane and degenerated in quality, I must admit that this makes for a large part of a lady’s mind and soul. They are good and healthy in many ways.
As a teacher, my fellow teachers in the staffroom and me always have had stories to narrate. About kids who play truant, kids who are very bright but don’t work hard(secretly all teachers are fond of such kids as they make for brilliant students who need our help to be pushed forward!) and how much we dislike that attitude, kids who show impeccable politeness and dedication and above all a passion for our subjects, which kid got admission where, how she coped with her difficulties, difficult parents etc. of course we talk about the new trousers someone is wearing or the grand sale of shoes. We tell students not to compare marks but we would put the marks on Excel and get graphs out and compare performances. We talk about that too! Which 3 –in-1 coffee brand is best suited and to end the conversation we will talk about why coffee is bad for health as well. Contradictions galore but it continues!! Show off the cards and words written by students as though that was any yardstick to the teachers we were. Definitely not. But it does make a teacher’s heart sing! ‘Just look what my class had to say’. The joy is immense in this kind of sharing. Well, to put it right, its very reassuring for ourselves when we show each other these notes.
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| One of the cards for teacher's day that described me 'Patient' everywhere!Now?! |
As a parent my conversations with my 11 year old mostly is about her day. ‘How best do you think we could have managed the stage for our class assembly? We got a remark that our class didn’t manage the stage properly!’ Now that’s not a question. So I mustn’t answer that. I know just what to say…say nothing. Well that’s saying something too! So I change the context and ask her about her selections. “Not sure whether I will be in the school BB team. But ma its so unfair…the senior girls are so tall and super! Well , "Super" is unfair, people, for kids today at least for mine! ‘Good ! Practice shooting well. You can make it’! Did you finish lunch fully, when is playtime today, are you going to wash your hair now and what is the book you just started. All these help to get a pulse of how her day has been. I love hearing and she loves saying and vice versa. So it works well between us!! Its helpful when you have exhaustively probed all the areas!!
I want to stop this rant and make an intuitive observation…that, if all this was by the men and not by the women in context would this whole aspect of therapy, reassurance as I call it and helpful as I see it be different ! Yes , vastly I suppose and of course I admit that all this is part of all our lives and definitely don’t presume this is how it goes for all women. But having said that , I do see that there are many points of uniqueness in playing the role as a woman!
What say people!
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