It’s complicated people. More than you and I can fathom. This DNA stuff is totally sound science and if there was something you want to begin with, to prove to the next generation that Science is all true and objective, show them how similarly they could strike a chord with you in ways they never knew- all because they had the same code of those helical looking fibers they inherited from you…in all of god’s most beautiful creation. As my girl is growing up I realize that she is similar to me in so many ways and yet so different in other ways too!
My girl has become a young lady quite literally and I am plain apprehensive about life. Its like the clock has started clicking faster and I have very little time to finish my clinical work. I admit I have been having this urge like never before to pamper her and make her feel like a princess but lest she takes advantage of my display of affection and uses the same to dodge the many things she must be doing, anyway, albeit the tight hugs and squeezes that I never will resist . She has always been (so painfully for me!) an independent girl. Confident as she always seems to be, she still has her feminine fears that she so tactfully conceals. One thing very striking about her is her lack of diplomacy in making critical comments on anything that she dislikes. A trait clearly picked from me(Her dad and my bro endorse that!). Call it a brutal truth or blatant fact, it’s the way it is, is the way she will say it. Quite consciously she has been taught to employ refinement. And ironically, I do that. And while I do that, her dad just smirks to himself, ‘Telling her to do things you can’t get right even today!’ kind of look that I pretend not to understand. I fiercely insist on the choice of words and the rhetoric she must apply! Making progress but I do realize there is a bottleneck to what I can achieve in this area that has been pre-programmed! So realistically speaking there is only so much I can do to camouflage.
As a mother I take immense pleasure at her achievements thus far and often mention recaps to her on her gloomy days. My crib story is simple…she is growing up faster than I imagined in ways more than just physical. Our dinner conversations are the most absorbing part of my day. The other day, she told me that she will miss her best friend in our block who was to leave for good. The curious me asked her, “What is it that made you strike with Eesha?”. “Amma, she is very open. We talk of music, basketball, you, daddy, her dad, mom, cricket, movies and sometimes studies”, she said. To which I replied then “In all she was interesting to be with?”” Oh yes always!As unlike many she spoke ‘viewer’s choice’”. That stumped me as she also smirked after that and added , “Not like you. You bore me and daddy with your stuff and school sometimes”. I seriously didn’t expect that. Well people there’s been a transformation. I didn’t quite see when it happened but surely my girl watches me well. Its not often that your own kids tell you ,you are boring.:(
I have been working very hard with her music lately and the two of us have even cut down on play to spend a lot of hours understanding the nuances of Carnatic Music. When finally she presented a few krithis to me and I realized the 2 times she sang she sang it differently, I asked her why. Then with a smile she replied,”Oh you can tell the difference? Which one did you like the second time one? The first time was the way your Madurai teacher taught me and the second time was sir’s way. I am planning to mix the combination when I sing in the exam. If I combine the teacher thinks I am innovating.” She then added that real innovation will happen only after a week and she is still trying. Well, honestly I admit that that kind of understanding human behavior was beyond me at that age. To shamelessly add, its true now as well! She is making slow and steady progress in the understanding of the raga but taking leaps and bounds with understanding people she interacts with. In a way, am I happy for that! Indeed feels restful and at peace to know that she has sound defense mechanisms that will keep her from stumbling in all of life’s tripping stones.
Honestly, life skills are more important than any other according to me. It protects, holds you strong against calamaties, keeps you on purpose and definitely keeps you from making muddled mistakes. As a mother, today, my requirements for things I need for her have a refreshed , new list. Its always like that. In our zest to have the best for them, I want her to do what I did and do it without the cracks and glitches that I made too! What the mother in me will never want to see is her lack of understanding of this world that will cost her dearly as she moves on in this very different world that I need to prepare her for. Everyday has one more thing on my list for her!!
Rearing her has been easy for most parts of it. She is mindful of others and minds herself. Children reflect the world they see very often in a crystal clear way if for all that we keep from imposing our views on them. Its difficult to accept but letting them be is often the only way. As my heart fills up with contentment at her life skills, I shall fill this cyber space with more anecdotes to share in times to come!
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